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I've been going thru a depression a long time now.  I don't see a future without it.  My house is crappy.  The toilet leaks, the ceiling leaks, the carpet is crappy.  THere's a hole in the ceiling with probably mold.  I have no money or inclination to change it.  The man who should be the love of my life ignores me.  He goes wherever he wants whenever he wants and doesn't invite me just lets me know after the fact and not even then sometimes what he does. My kids are always gone or in their own world.  SOmeone is always leaving in my car so I am stuck home.  If I do have it it doesn't matter because where whould I go.  I have no friends.  My bff talks of her husband and makes me so jealous and I can't feel as if I can complain because she has diabetes with a lot of complications so i feel guilty to  talk of my problems. The only relief is work and pfff that is the lowlest of the low positions which i work with school age kids not like its important or anything. I dont know what to do.
I came down this morning and found that Santa had come! Jesse during the night brought in two bookcases and stuck a note on one saying, Happy birthday, Mum.  It's a week early and exactly what I need and want.  They are about 10 and 9 feet tall and about 3 feet wide and can hold 2-3 rows of books per shelf.  I already got them moved and covered in books already.  I got rid of 9 boxes that were on my floor.  Last week Julianna and I had moved the desk and organized all my 2,000+ books.  Now it's even easier to find what I want to read.  This is so awesome!

Jan. 31st, 2016

So my computer is up and running again!

Through connections, I spent the weekend at the Flamingo Hotel and Casino two weekends ago.  It was strange staying in a hotel in my own town. I kept feeling as if I was somewhere else. I had a perfect view of the High Roller, which is a 550-foot tall Ferris wheel and changes colors as it slowly turns.  I've never had an interest to ride it, but it is pretty.  Steve and I walked up and down the street taking one side each night.  It was fun playing tourist and seeing things the way they do.  The first night there was a shooting kitty corner from the hotel.  They closed the entire side of the Strip.  That was a bit scary.  I missed being there by a little less than an hour.  The room was nice with a tv in the bathroom and a separate shower from the bath.  I actually did go home during the day to get things done and I had to work one afternoon.

Talking of work, we have been short one person and I have been working a lot of extra hours and strange shifts.  Unfortunately, although I made a lot of extra money, it all went to pay for Christmas so it's gone already.  I hate that.  Now I am trying to be really good in saving, but it's a slow go.  Now my hours are back to normal and the regular day and time.  That's good.


So my wireless connection died.  The whole thing disappeared from my computer.  I don't know how it happened.  I can only get on my computer with this cord attached and stuck in one corner.  URGH.

Last night I did a thing to help out and get drivers too impaired to drive.  I only got one call and it was awful.  It ended up being a 29.7 mile drive and they were rude and gave no tip at the end.  URGH.


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!  Have a safe and happy one.



Oh boy, winter is here.

On NaNo, btw, I didn't finish it.  Or I should say, I did finish, but only up to a little over 30,000 words.  I reached the end of my story and had absolutely nowhere to go with it.  I was so desperate I added a poem at the end to summarize the story.  It did not help.  Alas,at least now I can let Amanda rest.  It was a good run for us, but time to say goodbye to her.
It is that time of year.  I am once again struggling with NaNoWriMo.  This is probably my worst year ever.  My story, such as it is, is all over the place.  My characters are on a spacecraft and then suddenly in a hotel room.  I just keep jumping around scenes.  It is, at least, going in order and not back and forth through time, although that may actually help.  I am also way behind in my word count, but I MUST DO IT!!


My daughter is in Paris right now.  I Skyped with her and she’s fine.  Hopefully she can get home with no problems when she’s done with school in two weeks.


So at the staff meeting that was held for the entire district, they handed out at the end free tickets to Jimmy and the Parrots.  The concert was last night and I went with Steve, Betty, and her husband.  It was strange when I found out it was in the same banquet room as the staff meeting.  We sat about 10 rows back from the stage near the center.  It was a great concert.  They were a tribute band for Jimmy Buffet but they played other covers as well.  I loved when they played "Sweet Caroline".  It brought back sweet memories for Betty and me when we had gone to a fair during high school and a band had played that song.  It made us laugh.  The drummer was crazy.  He reminded us of Weird Al.  He jumped around the stage and carried part of his drum set around and went through the audience.  He was great.  The concert lasted an hour and a half.  I'm glad that we all went.


renaissance faire

For five hours last night, I went to the Renaissance Faire.  I started off with Jesse and watched him ride a camel.  We saw a magician which was good but not great.  He had to leave so I wandered around by myself for a time.  I bought two bookmarks and a fan for my wall.  The jousting then began and it was awesome.  My favorite part of the whole festival.  I like how it varies a bit every year but stays the same enough to keep the tradition.  Then I spent my very last dollar on a strawberry with cream scone.  We then saw a gladiator show before heading home about 9:40 pm.  It was great especially considering I wasn't sure I could make it at all when I woke that morning.  I got to wear my new short top hat with frills on it and my knee high boots.  I got blisters, but it was worth it.

The dreaded time of year is coming: NaNo.  I am updating my account and here is my bio:  Always, always, I had a love of reading.  Writing to me is just an extension of it where I can let my own imagination run free.  No one leads me down a path of their choosing.  I create my own.  Characters come to my pages sometimes without my knowing how they arrived.  They need to have their stories told and I am just the vessel that they used.

Now to come up with a plot.


Wait, today is the first day of Autumn.  What the heck!


Last night I went to the last free summer concert at Fremont Experience.  I went to see Kansas.  I heard there that only two of the original members was still in the band.  We got there 20 minutes early and worked our way in the standing room only crowd near the back.  We watched a short light show and then the band came on.  They were pretty good.  I especially liked the fiddle player.  They did tend to plug some of their own merchandise multiple times.  About two-thirds of the way through the concert, I suddenly began to get light-headed.  Then my skin got clammy and I had to sit right there in the crowd.  It took about 5-10 minutes before I could stand again, but I had to get out.  We moved away and I collapsed near a small tree.  I threw up a bit in my mouth and was worried that it was going to get worse. Disgusting, I know. I didn't though which unbuttoning my top button of my jeans made me less nauseous. Getting out of the crowd and getting some space, some air, and away from the loudness helped a great deal.  I was able to stay for the encore where they sang Wayward Son.  I could actually see the whole stage better from the side.  I also really only recognised three songs total.  Thankfully no money was lost on this night.  We even parked two blocks over and had free parking compared to all the tourists who ended up paying.

Today I feel better in the coolness of my house and was able to finish spring cleaning.  Well, maybe not spring cleaning but cleaning deeper than normal and clearing and re-arranging the rooms around to make it more uncluttered.  I only have one room left.  I'll probably tackle it in a week or so.  Work moved my days around for the holiday.
This morning I fulfilled one of my adult responsibilities and went to the dentist.  I'm happy to report that I have no cavities! My gums, though, are not behaving.  They are still receeding and are sensitive.  She had to numb two of the areas in order to clean my teeth.  She did do a thorough job with her metal pick and the scrapping and everything.  My gums are now sore.  I hate to eat and ruin the cleaniness of my teeth, but I have to sometime, right?